Hi,
1. in general all servers in will be in synch.
2. Yes you can see sending and receiver mails at SOST.
3. better to check with basis team.
lets transport your process chain form dev to quality..
test it there. if it won't works then you can directly add recipients at quality if you authorized.
other wise take bw team member help who have authorized at bw quality to do the changes.
Thanks
.